The Pink Blob Times https://pinkblob.org All the Crumbs Fit to Print en-us Parliament Adjourns Third Day Running After Members Roll Out of Chamber https://pinkblob.org/article/blob-parliament-crumb-shortage/ https://pinkblob.org/article/blob-parliament-crumb-shortage/ Sun, 13 Sep 2026 00:00:00 GMT Leadership blamed the newly waxed floors. The opposition blamed the leadership. A committee will be formed to blame someone else. Corrections and Clarifications https://pinkblob.org/article/corrections-september/ https://pinkblob.org/article/corrections-september/ Sun, 13 Sep 2026 00:00:00 GMT Errors in recent editions, and the record set straight. The Weekly Crumb: Puzzle No. 412 https://pinkblob.org/article/crumb-puzzle-weekly/ https://pinkblob.org/article/crumb-puzzle-weekly/ Sun, 13 Sep 2026 00:00:00 GMT This week's arrangement problem, plus the solution to last week's, which several readers dispute. Crumb Shortage Enters Fourth Week as Officials Urge Calm, Then Leave Town https://pinkblob.org/article/crumb-shortage-enters-fourth-week/ https://pinkblob.org/article/crumb-shortage-enters-fourth-week/ Sat, 12 Sep 2026 00:00:00 GMT The Ministry of Supply says reserves are 'adequate.' It has not said adequate for what, or for how long. The Crumb We Cannot See https://pinkblob.org/article/editorial-the-crumb-we-cannot-see/ https://pinkblob.org/article/editorial-the-crumb-we-cannot-see/ Sat, 12 Sep 2026 00:00:00 GMT The Board of Editors on the surveillance question, and why the answer is not simply more cameras. Great Blob Telescope Detects Nothing at All, Which Scientists Call Their Best Result Yet https://pinkblob.org/article/telescope-finds-nothing/ https://pinkblob.org/article/telescope-finds-nothing/ Sat, 12 Sep 2026 00:00:00 GMT After nine years and considerable expense, the array has confirmed that a specific region of sky contains no crumbs whatsoever. Letters: On Roundness, Ovens, and the Price of a Crumb https://pinkblob.org/article/letters-september/ https://pinkblob.org/article/letters-september/ Fri, 11 Sep 2026 00:00:00 GMT Readers respond to last week's coverage. Letters have been edited for length. We Are All Round, and Pretending Otherwise Is Making Us Miserable https://pinkblob.org/article/opinion-we-are-all-round/ https://pinkblob.org/article/opinion-we-are-all-round/ Fri, 11 Sep 2026 00:00:00 GMT The cult of the angular has gone far enough. City Installs Cameras That Watch Only for Crumbs, Insists This Is Different https://pinkblob.org/article/surveillance-crumb-cameras/ https://pinkblob.org/article/surveillance-crumb-cameras/ Fri, 11 Sep 2026 00:00:00 GMT Officials stress the system cannot identify individual blobs — only what those blobs are holding, where, and for how long. Baker of the Year Award Given, for Eleventh Time, to the Same Extremely Round Blob https://pinkblob.org/article/blob-baker-of-the-year/ https://pinkblob.org/article/blob-baker-of-the-year/ Thu, 10 Sep 2026 00:00:00 GMT Judges cited 'consistency.' Rivals cited 'the judging panel being three of his cousins.' I Was a Crumb Inspector for Thirty Years. We Were Never Counting Crumbs. https://pinkblob.org/article/guest-blob-i-was-a-crumb-inspector/ https://pinkblob.org/article/guest-blob-i-was-a-crumb-inspector/ Thu, 10 Sep 2026 00:00:00 GMT A guest essay on what the inspection service actually measured, and who asked for it. The Crumb Panic Is Not About Crumbs https://pinkblob.org/article/opinion-the-crumb-panic/ https://pinkblob.org/article/opinion-the-crumb-panic/ Thu, 10 Sep 2026 00:00:00 GMT It never was. It is about who gets to decide when there is enough of anything. Housing Market Cools Slightly After Everyone Notices the Houses Are Also Round https://pinkblob.org/article/blob-housing-market/ https://pinkblob.org/article/blob-housing-market/ Wed, 09 Sep 2026 00:00:00 GMT Buyers report difficulty in placing furniture, and in placing themselves. Transit Blobs Strike Over Proposal to Make Them Roll Uphill Both Ways https://pinkblob.org/article/blob-transit-strike/ https://pinkblob.org/article/blob-transit-strike/ Wed, 09 Sep 2026 00:00:00 GMT Management describes the route change as 'topologically ambitious.' The union describes it as 'impossible.' The Sash Is Back, and It Means Something Different Now https://pinkblob.org/article/style-the-return-of-the-sash/ https://pinkblob.org/article/style-the-return-of-the-sash/ Wed, 09 Sep 2026 00:00:00 GMT Once the mark of high office, the ceremonial sash has been adopted by blobs with no office at all. Bakery Standards Board Rules That a Crumb Is Whatever It Says a Crumb Is https://pinkblob.org/article/bakery-crumb-standards-review/ https://pinkblob.org/article/bakery-crumb-standards-review/ Tue, 08 Sep 2026 00:00:00 GMT The seven-year review concludes with a definition that critics say is circular, and which the board says is therefore very stable. Weather Service Forecasts 'Mild, With a Chance of Being Rolled' https://pinkblob.org/article/blob-weather-service/ https://pinkblob.org/article/blob-weather-service/ Tue, 08 Sep 2026 00:00:00 GMT Residents in low-lying districts are advised to anchor themselves before nightfall. Municipal Ovens Ran Four Degrees Cool for Eleven Years, Audit Finds https://pinkblob.org/article/bakery-oven-temperature-scandal/ https://pinkblob.org/article/bakery-oven-temperature-scandal/ Mon, 07 Sep 2026 00:00:00 GMT Nobody noticed. Officials say this proves the system works.